[Originally posted on mixi, on 2005年10月29日:]
"...the very strong pain you feel on your chest, when you see a girl you have convinced yourself you don't care about with someone else.
The pain is instant, but it is so strong that air can not flow through your throat down to the lungs. It lasts for only 3 seconds. Then your body somehow manages to recover, and air starts flowing again and you are able to breathe and speak. The pain disappears completely after a few words. But every time you recall that incident somehow you feel the exact same pain, even though there is no actual chest pain, just the feeling.
This memory might be kept forever. I can still remember a similar pain i had felt when i was 16, that was the first time. Now i am 32, so maybe it comes every 16 years. In this case, next pain will come when i am 48.
Or maybe it's just a reaction of the body to show you that you are not actually in control of things as much as you thought you were..."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Did this ever happen for real? Yes, it did.
Where? Shibuya crossing, right in the middle of it!
Who was the girl? Yuu-chan. Married now to the guy I saw her with that night.
Funny to read the comments I got back then:
[fugu] "you ok mate?"
..Worrying about me. Well, one month ago I had entered the worst period of my life.
[skeb] "We've all been there a time or two...yeah, where the fuck does the actual physical pain come from? I guess the mind is a powerful tool that can sometimes jolt you into realizing what your ego will not let you believe."
..Hehe, you just got married last month man! A lot more pain coming up for you.
[pipi] "was this a girl or a guy? :)"
..How the *fuck* could I ever have trusted this guy?!
[the great gonzo] "Love hurts. It really does."
..Reminds me, need to catch up with gonzo before he leaves the city.
[taka] "and the love didn't come true,it's turn to deep sadness."
..She should know.
Anyway. Two and a half years have past.
Do I still feel that chest pain now? Hmmm... only a bit.
